One Small Act of Curiosity: The Origin of Comfort Triggers™

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You may have noticed the theme of curiosity throughout this website. I believe curiosity is the driving force behind discovery, and that is certainly true for much of what I have done. For years, I have wondered why I am the way I am—the good, and too often, the not-so-good. That wondering led me to what I now call comfort triggers. It was not a single light-bulb moment, but the slow accumulation of countless “alone-with-my-thoughts” moments when I began to notice emotional patterns and ask why they kept repeating.

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This was not something I planned or ever expected to find. The idea for comfort triggers emerged naturally, almost accidentally, as I began observing those patterns and questioning their purpose. There was no research agenda, no hypothesis; only reflection. It began as simple observation.

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The term itself was not the result of structure or study; it came to me one evening while watching one of my favorite shows, Ted Lasso. It is a series filled with humor and heart, and several characters strike a personal chord. For example, Ted’s father died by suicide. My father did as well. That shared experience created an immediate and powerful connection between me and this fictional character: a deep recognition of something profoundly painful yet familiar.

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Because of that connection, Ted’s words and emotions carry more weight. His reactions become mirrors that help me understand my own; sometimes they even reveal something I did not know I was feeling. There is a beautiful symmetry in that—how fiction can meet us in our reality.

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Where comfort triggers come into play is in the repetition and the perception of encouragement. I might return again and again to that show, that character, or even that specific scene, not simply because I enjoy it, but because it makes me feel seen and justified in how I feel. The familiarity of that emotional landscape is comforting, even though it is rooted in pain. That moment of recognition, the false comfort of being understood by something that also hurts, is the paradox at the heart of comfort triggers.

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Looking back, it all began with one small act of curiosity: pausing to wonder why a single scene from a television show made me feel so deeply understood, and then realizing it was not the first time. That question opened the door to everything that followed: a journey of reflection that eventually became a research paper introducing two new terms to the field of psychology, born from personal experience and the quiet courage to ask why.

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I offer this as lived observation, as a journeyman on the path of reflection, in hopes that it will complement professional insight. Though my graduate studies may have prepared me for the discipline of research and writing, this has been a deeply personal journey of discovery—one that I hope will benefit others. I have thoroughly enjoyed the process: the research, the writing, and the countless hours of revision. Now I offer it to the professionals, the clinicians, and to my fellow travelers who may find themselves somewhere along this same road.